Updated: 5 days ago
With only seven shopping days until Christmas, it's not too late to buy a ski area for your sweetie, with Soldier Mountain in southern Idaho on the sales block for a mere $800,000. It's a nifty operation so be sure to grab it before some big mega-ski-glomerate scoops it up for pocket change - and on advice of counsel we shouldn't name the two mega-ski-glomerates we're thinking of, but we can say that they rhyme with Pail and Palterra. We'll just call them the Acme and Apollo Ski Companies for now and let you guess which one is Apollo. And, according to the ski area's website at SoldierMountain.com, they're on track to open in time for the holidays so you can try before you buy.
What's wicked cool about Soldier Mountain is that it was once owned by Bruce Willis who bought it back in the 1990's right around the time he was cashing his check for Pulp Fiction and moving on to some seriously bizarre time travel in 12 Monkeys and dealing with Hans Gruber's vengeful brother Simon in the third Die Hard installment, Die Hard With A Vengeance. It's the perfect starter ski area that's been around since 1948 and boasts a top elevation of over 7,000 feet, nearly 1,200 acres of lift-served terrain and another 2,000 acres of powdery bliss accessed by a snowcat. So there's plenty reason to see why Bruce and Demi fell in love with Soldier Mountain before Bruce fell in love with their nanny, which was clearly his biggest bad choice since the Seagram's Golden Wine Cooler ads he did back in the 80's:
Some things you can't unsee, so as we struggle to put Bruce's hop zippity outfit out of our minds, we are abundantly thankful to Santa and the founders of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Festivus for this spiff holiday sweater that is definitive proof that Die Hard is indeed a Christmas movie, so end the debate and roll the VHS tape from 1988. While we don't have any of these festive tops in our online store at getonsnow.com/shop you can still shop 'till you drop like Hans and find all the right swag to make you the John or Holly McClane hero in your house. And, the prices are right for those of us without a Bruce Willis or Apollo-sized bank account. Yippee Ki Yay, Cowboy!